Meeting a would-be life partner sounds exciting, but not actually is, it is normal to feel nervous along with excitement. Maybe you are not sure about marriage right now, it makes you feel stressed. Maybe you are a Punjabi divorced bride who is scared of this second chance. Whatever the situation is, the meeting is surrounded by small awkward situations. Whether you have arranged or your families have talked to the second marriage bureau for this, this is going to be a life-changing decision.
Try to pen down all the questions in your mind for the future with your partner. You may also do a few things which make you feel confident, which would make it easier to talk.
- Meet at a comforting place: this is a must to make you feel normal, not nervous. If you ever get a chance to choose a place, pick which is most convenient and comfortable for you to talk. It may be a café, your parent’s home, a friend’s place or a park which has some of your memories.
- Dress nicely: if you really want to show another person that you are giving input to dress as per your culture or the other side’s culture. Dressing up as per the meeting, but never going over the top. Be simple and sophisticated. In the case of men, may go with a collared shirt, pointed shoes and jeans. In the case of a girl, a suit or a sari of your choice would go well in Indian culture.
- Make a checklist: first meeting could be an introductory meeting to check the compatibility and if there could be any connection or not. it is ok to go a little personal, but try to avoid going beyond the limit. Talking about family, friends, work or even ex-relationships would be ok.
- Allow your family to lead the relationship: at times, the first meeting would include both sides of parents or some elder family members. In such cases, you do not have to make much of the talking and decisions. Parents will take care of everything with their experience and concern towards you.
- Initiate with small talk: even though this meeting is stressful, try to relax and enjoy it a bit. Start by talking about your surroundings, the weather, the food in front of you, etc. Some people consider small talk shallow but it is a great way to give charge to any relationship.
- Ask an intense question if it is comfortable: if you initially feel no connection skip this part, but if there is hope go for some intense questions, talk about love, life after marriage, expectation from a partner, a family looking for, life goals, etc.
- The balance between comments and questions: even though nerves are pumped up, be cautious of your words and listen to everything carefully, do not behave like Robert. Discussion is important as it helps to know each other well and helps to understand perspectives and ways of thinking.
